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THANKSGIVING IS HERE!
ACCORDING TO MY SCALE
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IT'S THANKSGIVING!
A JOYOUS CELEBRATION OF MURDER, PILLAGE AND THIEVERY
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A DAY FOR GIVING THANKS
THAT FOOTBALL SEASON IS ALMOST OVER
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I'M HERE FOR YOU
UNLESS HURRICANE IRENE BLOWS YOUR HOUSE DOWN
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THANK YOU
FOR HOLDING MY HAIR BACK ALL THESE YEARS
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY
YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, RIGHT?
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY
IN LIEU OF A GIFT, WE GOT YOU AN 800 CALORIE CUPCAKE
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CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR RAISE
IMAGINE HOW MUCH IT WOULD BE IF YOU WERE A GUY
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FRIENDSHIP
IS A BOND BEST HELD TOGETHER WITH ALCOHOL
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THINKING OF YOU
HOW BORED AM I?
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THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER
BECAUSE OF ALL THE BULL SH*T FERTILIZING IT
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I BELIEVE IN YOU
AND UNICORNS
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WITH LOVE
AND EXPECTATIONS
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I LOVE YOU
LIKE A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS
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TO THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN
AND THE STUD OF MY BED
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A DAY FOR DAD
TO PRETEND HE'S AS IMPORTANT AS MOM
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CELEBRATING YOU MOM
AND THE DAY I MOVED OUT
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